Misty Sommers
Misty Sommers, BA ’96, MEd ’05, is the assistant university registrar at 91˛Öżâ. She’s earned two master’s degrees—one from 91˛Öżâ in educational psychology and one from American InterContinental University in organizational psychology and development. Sommers says she grew up in a generation that didn’t really discuss mental health concerns openly. But she wants people to be able to talk about it, like they’re doing through the campaign.
I grew up in a generation where if something was going wrong, it was your responsibility to just go ahead and pretend like everything was okay, because your life was private, and you didn’t show that you were going through something. You just put on a smile.
But if nobody’s talking about these things—these little hidden secrets that everybody keeps inside because it’s taboo to talk about—we’re not going to share any of the things we’ve learned with the people who might need to hear them.
When I was younger and going through college, I had no clue about things like ADHD [attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder] or the fact that I might have it. So, I just kept pushing through, not realizing that there might be tools or life skills out there that might help me.
I was completely oblivious, until my son was diagnosed with ADHD and the doctor said, “Of course, you knew that mom, right? You have it.” He could tell from me just being in the room.
These days, if you have that diagnosis, there are many resources available on campus, and small adjustments that could be made that make a huge impact—like getting longer testing sessions or permission to sit in a quiet room. You can learn more about it and get help for it.
I gave birth to two children (I also have four stepchildren), and both of them have Tourette syndrome, just like me and my brother. But we didn’t know that when I was younger. We just said, “Oh, they have nervous tics.” And we shrugged it off. It wasn’t until my children grew older and I started talking to doctors that I found out there are specialists who will actually teach you about this, like what happens in your brain’s motor cortex.
Learning about it and understanding why it happens makes all the difference to me and how I handle it. I’ll notice what’s happening to my body and realize I need to slow down all that stimulus and try to reset so I can approach the next challenge a bit better.
When I’m stressed and feeling overwhelmed, I can feel my stomach tense, I can feel myself holding my breath or breathing fast. These things are happening because my body is reacting to my panic.
I’ve learned to take a deep breath and concentrate on the things I can control. I can’t control my to-do list. But I can control letting go of the muscles in my stomach. Then I can drop my shoulders. And it kind of grounds me for a second, so that I can stop and think, “What's the next thing?” Not what are all the things on the list. But what’s the next thing?
I’m going to do that, and then after that, I’m going to reward myself with a cup of coffee with a whole bunch of really high-calorie creamer in it.